NYAC | 3min Read
Published on May 14, 2026
The Ignoramus Director
The Ignoramus Director
“Lights, camera, action!” the Director called.
Moments later the stage lights flicker on, the camera starts rolling, and all that is captured
is a burst of gunpowder and Alex’s collapse mid-scene.
“Lissy, you were supposed to fire in the next scene, not now! Alex get up.” the Director
hissed.
“But Sir, I didn’t take the shot.” Lissy said. Then thoughtfully added, “My gun isn’t even
loaded.”
The Director, enraged, roared, “Then who did? You’re telling me that somebody just came
into the room, casually took a stroll, and shot Alex? Also, why won’t he get up?”
Just then, a police crew burst into the studio.
“Everybody freeze!” the lead officer commanded. After everyone complied, he calmed
down and said, “We have received reports of a murderer in the area and believe he’s here.”
The police cops spread out and began searching the area. They found Alex lying on stage
and checked his pulse.
“He’s dead.” an officer called out.
The lead officer then asked, “Who killed him? Ladies and gentlemen, please confess, it
will save our time and we will only keep you in jail for about the rest of your life.”
A man wearing a Darth Vader mask then stepped out from behind the cyclorama and said,
“It was me. Just make sure you don’t keep me in jail for any extra time. I look forward to the
free holiday and especially the food. Thanks for the luxury treatment I will be getting.”
The police officer scratched his head and tried to figure out what the man meant by free
holiday and clearly overworked his two braincells. He stood there stupidly for a minute,
before grabbing the man’s arm and saying, “Let’s have a nice little chit-chat about what
you have done and the consequences.”
The cops left with the masked man and the Director turned around and said, “What was all
that commotion about? Anyways, Alex really should get up. It’s nearly noon. I really want to
get two scenes over with as the hot dog counter closes soon.” l
Just then a police squad burst into the studio. Everyone’s eyes went to them.
Chris, the knight with no muscles, said, “You just came. Why did you come back again?
You already caught the murderer.”Saying this, Chris proved that his armor was not hiding a brain. He then went back to
practicing for the next scene where he had to flex muscles.
The police commander, baffled from being interrogated regained his composure and said,
“Sir, I’m pretty sure you are mistaken. We are the only police crew in the area; all other
police crews are more than two hours away. On a serious note, we have received a report
of a murder over here. Can we please investigate?”
The Director, doing his best to look official, firmly put his foot down with a resounding
“No”.
The commander was stunned, and everyone smirked. After the chief managed to get his
wits, he asked, “On what grounds?”
The Director nonchalantly replied, “Because the camera is still rolling.”
Two police officers examined the camera before saying, “Sir, it’s off.”
The police chief, now visibly enraged, shouted, “What do you mean the camera is on? It is
literally off.”
The Director replied, “I’m talking about the security camera.”
The police officers went to the control room and opened the footage without saying a word
to anyone. The footage clearly showed a fake police team, confidently walking in, taking
the criminal and leaving. It portrayed them as efficient, confident, and yet completely
unaffiliated with the government. Which truthfully was the complete opposite of what the
actual police portrayed.
By now, the chief was fuming. He slowly turned and looked at the Director, then cuffed him
and said, “Interval starts now. There is a buy one get one on popcorn. Hope you enjoyed.”
