Published on February 17, 2021

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How to be a Failure

• Post author By tbrg
• Post date February 17, 2021
• No Comments on How to be a Failure

When was the last time you read about a ‘failure’ in a positive light? Generally, you see them paraded on news channels as the scum of society. The most entertaining failures for the media are those who used to be considered successes at one point. So we’re thrown these images in our faces, as an example of what not to become. And thus we grow up fearing failure or at least seeing it in a negative light. Starting from our school days, exams are made to feel like life or death. Bunk actually failing, sometimes it feels like even getting below 80% is considered a failure. So we stress ourselves out, constantly tense about failing, creating monstrous scenarios in our head. And we forget what failing is all about.

Fail Fast And Often
When you fail at something, it simply means that you did something wrong. If you don’t fail, how else would you know? That is why the motto in Silicon Valley is ‘Fail Fast’. Seems almost nonsensical to hear, but they live by it. There is no stigma in Silicon Valley of failing, so people aren’t afraid. They try, fail, learn from it, and make changes to try again. If Steve Jobs had stopped trying after he got fired from Apple, you wouldn’t have an iPhone. He got fired from his own company, he could have easily sat and cried into his pillow. No. He went and started another company. And then another. Until he finally got back to where he wanted to be.

The thing that any successful person will tell you is that they went through multiple moments of failure to get to where they are. Anybody who tells you otherwise is flat-out lying. There is not a single example of someone who has succeeded but has not seen some form of failure. So technically, by not failing you’re actually stopping yourself from succeeding.

Failure Is Just The Start
The trick is to not stop at any failure. Always look at failure as a learning opportunity. Sounds cliché, but why look at it as anything else? There is nothing to gain from looking at it negatively. When NASA was trying to send humans into space, hundreds of rockets exploded. Those were failures. But they still ended up putting a man on the moon in 1969. Just imagine if they had stopped. You wouldn’t have had Google Maps. Those failures led them to develop better rockets, led to more satellites being launched, which led to GPS. You’d have still been asking for directions from strangers.

Now, whenever you do fail, it’s going to be a shitty moment and you’re going to feel terrible. Nobody enjoys failing, you aren’t a robot. The point is how you respond at that moment. Can you rally yourself out of that feeling and onwards?

Let Failure Make Your Brain Work
You can overcome failure by increasing the odds of success. Often times we fail because we don’t create the right situations for ourselves. Did you put in the effort? Did you find all the solutions to a problem? Are you being honest with yourself or are you just lost in wishful thinking? Are you being realistic? These are all questions we must ask ourselves. If someone is putting in 40 hours of effort every week, and another is doing 80 hours, who are more likely to succeed?

The fear of failure should also make us relook at our motivations. If you’re afraid of becoming a singer because you’re afraid of failing, then you need to check your motivation. Maybe you want to be famous, more than you want to sing. You can as easily fail at business as you can at singing. You can also get fired from a job. So why fear failure only with singing?

There is no to-do list for success. All you need to do is fail. Set yourself up for failure so you know how it feels. The fear will slowly reduce and then start trying to set yourself up for success. You’ll still fail, it’s fine. Learn from it and move on. Fail again and again, but don’t stop. Fail, learn, move on. Do this enough and you will succeed. But if you stop, there is absolutely no chance of succeeding. When the moment comes, and it will come, how will you respond to it?

Published on January 30, 2021

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How to Make Better Decisions

• Post author By tbrg
• Post date January 30, 2021
• No Comments on How to Make Better Decisions

‘Don’t be so indecisive.. Come on, hurry up.. Decide yaa..’

Oh, the pressure to make a decision hangs over us constantly. There is always something ‘important’ that requires a decision to be made. The best example is when we’re sitting in front of that Netflix homepage trying to figure out what to watch. Often we end up spending more time trying to decide, than actually watching something.

It might seem silly, but these are micro-decisions that we make all the time. Should you order a pizza or pasta? Sometimes we get lost trying to decide such simple things. We often think of ‘decision making’ as something which involves money or prestige or power. But you know that isn’t really true. Every decision can feel like a multi-million dollar decision.

So by chance, if you ask anyone for help in making a decision, most will tell you two things. ‘Beta make a pros and cons list’ and ‘Beta, trust your gut’. These are said so matter of factly that you feel silly wondering why you didn’t do this in the first place. But would you make a pros-cons list for a pizza? Also, can you really trust your gut?

Are you born with an ‘instinct’?

No. You develop instinct over a period of time. Sure, making a pros and cons list works sometimes, but you can also get lost in that list. We’ll search for an equal number of cons to match the pros, making that decision even harder than before. The trick is to do both, in a way. Analyze a situation that needs a decision, and then just take a quick decision. Don’t rush into it, because the thinking part is important as well. But take it nonetheless. Even if it’s the wrong decision at least your instincts will grow because that can only happen by making a decision. Sounds like a twisted loop, but that’s just how it is.

Finding ‘Tripwires’ in your life.

Sometimes though, it can feel like it’s too big a burden to bear. So find a trick around it. There is this concept of tripwires that Chip and Dan Heath share. When you feel like a decision is too big for you, break it down into small parts. ‘Tripwires’ are deadlines that you set for yourself, which force you into action. Say you want to apply to an Ivy League school. That decision is six months down the line and you’re not sure right now. So break it down. You need to give the SATs, that is one tripwire. You need to find a counselor, that’s another tripwire. Maybe you need an Ivy league mentor, that’s one. Maybe you want to do a Harvard summer school program, that’s another. So take these small steps, which force you to make smaller decisions. Now when you come to the big one, you’ve already gone through so many small ones, you’re ready.

Create a process that works for you:

• The first impulse is to make a knee jerk decision. Don’t.

• Narrow the problem and re-frame the question.

• Understand every aspect of the situation that needs a decision. Don’t let the small details go unnoticed and turn into problems later.

• Others might have faced the same problem, ask for advice.

• Look at it from a different perspective. What would your imaginary enemy want you to do?

• Avoid thinking about your past mistakes and getting stuck.

• See if there are any alternatives available to you.

• Prepare yourself that you could be wrong.

• Find some confidence and take a chance with your decision – ‘Trust your gut’

We don’t realize how small decisions in our daily life can affect our mood, our behavior, and even our dreams. It can feel like a lonely moment, but always know that there are others going through similar choices. Share in the comments below, a situation in your life that involved a tough decision. Who knows, maybe somebody else has a solution you never thought of? Maybe your choices help someone else think differently? Share and find out.

Published on January 27, 2021

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How to Define a Problem and Find It’s Solution

• Post author By tbrg
• Post date January 27, 2021
• No Comments on How to Define a Problem and Find It’s Solution

When we think of problems and problem solving, our mind typically goes to Mathematics. Because every other subject is framed as questions and answers. Only Maths is framed as problems and solutions. So the word ‘problem’ comes up, our eyes glaze over, and the day-dreaming starts instead. ‘Yea, let somebody else figure it out..’

But we face ‘problems’ in every aspect of our lives. What book to read, what show to watch, what food to order. Even these can be considered as problems. Sure they aren’t the same as figuring which university to attend or which Ivy league mentor to find. But these are all problems too. A problem is defined as any question involving doubt, uncertainty or difficulty. I’m sure you can agree we face this all the time.

So you need to find a solution to these problems. How?

Well the crux of solving any problem is to define what the problem is in the first place. To reframe that question and try to see things differently.

Take any sport. If you have an opponent beating you, that is a problem. But is that really the problem? Is your strategy the problem? Is it the opponent’s strategy? Are they playing their best player less to give him a rest, or are they playing him more so that the others are open? Have they identified your game plan? What exactly? Until you know this and identify the actual problem, you won’t be able to find a solution. You need to work backwards and figure out what the issue is. Puzzles always seem puzzling until you know the solution. Then your mind works backwards and it almost seems dumb. But you didn’t really catch on when it was needed right?

Now don’t get lost in just identifying the problem also. You need to focus on the solution as well. Often we worry about the consequences of the problem, so we don’t think straight and actually come up with a solution. Always know that you’re solving small problems constantly, you just don’t realise it. The trick is to find a more efficient solution. You can either climb ten floors or you can take the elevator. Both are solutions to getting up to your house, but one is more efficient. When you relax and focus on a solution, you will find it.

And don’t worry if you go wrong somewhere. Elon Musk said ‘Something will always go wrong’. Those are words to live by. Once you accept that things will go wrong, you don’t stress as much about it. His SpaceX rockets explode constantly; he was on the verge of bankruptcy. But he learned from his failures and found a better solution to his problems. Now look at his company. Does it mean that he doesn’t have any more problems left?

Another way of looking at all of this, is trying to figure problems that exist in the world and coming up with a solution for that problem, but as a business opportunity. Elon Musk thinks the world is going to end, so he’s finding solutions to get to Mars. Closer home, restaurants were all scattered around, so Zomato came in and created a billion dollar solution. Find the problem, and make the solution your business.

But how?

– Trust your instincts.

– Learn about the problem. Understand it completely.

– Ask for help. Always. You’re never alone in your problems.

– Steal other solutions. Others might have had the same problem and have found a solution. There is no copyright on that.

– Ask for a fresh pair of eyes to look at the same problem.

– Know when to change the question altogether. Some problems can’t be solved, so you change the question being asked.

– Have courage to know that you might make mistakes.

– Relax. A stressed mind will never find the best solution.

– If the problem looks to big and scary, break it down into smaller parts. Solve those.

– Find a mentorship program or a leadership workshop to help you.

– Don’t ignore the smaller issues, which can be quickly solved. Don’t let them build up.

– Have patience. The solution will come to you.

– Information is not the same as understanding. Google has a lot of info, but learn to make it more relevant to your problem.

Always remember that you aren’t born a problem solver. Nobody is. It is a skill developed over a period of time by facing your challenges, not running from them.

Published on January 20, 2021

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Should you Decide your Career in High School?

• Post author By tbrg
• Post date January 20, 2021
• No Comments on Should you Decide your Career in High School?

When most people hit 9th Grade, they are told that it’s time to figure out what they want to do for the rest of their life. For some reason, it’s always the 9th grade in India. Because until 9th you’re a child who can do whatever, and then suddenly you have the weight of your entire future crashing down on you. Apparently, as soon as you hit your teens, now you must plan every moment of your life.

It starts with selecting an elective when you’re in the 9th. Because that will determine what you do in the 11th and 12th. Then it becomes about what stream you want in college. What are the choices available, which countries have good programs, should you look at the Arts or maybe play it safe with an Engineering degree. Would you need to do more in your 11th and 12th, to help with your SOPs? If you study abroad, what kind of jobs are available after? Should you think about an MBA or a Masters? What kind of job would you need to do to get into a great college? What jobs are available after that degree?

Now how are you supposed to plan all of this when you’re still in your teens. There are people who struggle to do this even when they’re 25. So the reflex is to take a step back and get nudged by others in the ‘right’ direction. Maybe their words seem to have logic and make sense. And then one decision after another, you realise you’re just as lost as when you were 13.

So the question becomes, is it even possible to decide so far in advance? We are always given examples of some relative or some family friend, who knew what he or she was going to do when they were in high school, and look how well they are doing. And that is given as a reason why you should also decide early.

But what is your decision going to be based on?

Experiences. That’s your answer. When we’re in high school, we haven’t experienced much. So we are full of assumptions. We assume that a writer lives a glamorous life. We assume that journalists are risking their lives to enter war zones. We assume that a lawyer is changing the world winning cases. We assume a financial advisor is closing deals worth billions. We assume a lot. And do you know if it’s true? What if you decide your career based on these assumptions, and then find out the future you dreamed about isn’t true?

So burst these assumptions. Find ways to experience things which you haven’t before. If you can’t experience them, find older people who have. You ask them about their life. How they enjoy their work. What are the benefits? What are the pit-falls? You ask them questions which they might never have thought about. You should come hungry to learn. If you have an interest in something, learn about it.

But HOW?

• Take up an internship if anybody will let you. Or spend a day shadowing someone at work.

• Go through your parents phonebook and find someone who works in the field of your interest.

• Try doing the work. Write, if you want to be a journalist. Argue with friends, to re-create a courtroom.

• Watch videos and tutorials. There is a treasure trove of information online.

• Do workshops in your chosen field. There will be older folks who can give you perspective.

• Badger your parents to let you explore. Risky, but it’ll help you overcome your doubt.

• Learn about yourself. Not IQ tests, actually explore what your interests are.

Main thing – Don’t worry. Enjoy the uncertainty that comes with this exploration. You should feel happy that you’re exploring at such a young age. You truly can do whatever you want, if you just learn more about it. The trick is not to just make any decision. It is to make an informed decision. And to keep making these decisions every few years throughout your life. You’ll go to college, change as a person, and then again make further decisions. That’s life. Enjoy the process, not the destination.